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Saturday, January 20, 2007

today was DANCE 101. baby wanted to dance with me.. yeah.. i did.. but just for an hour.. but i couldnt dance a slow song with her. damn.. the juniors were so slow during practice.. dilly dally.. in the end cant go for the dance party. i managed to go for an hour.. and i feel so guilty.. sigh..

ok..25th to 27th is nyp open house. performing on all 3 dates. 25th jan. 1 pm, 26th jan 2.30 pm, 27th jan 11.30 am. come and watch ok.

im just too tired.. going to sleep.. BABY am sorry.. i really do..

---wrecked @ 1/20/2007 12:24:00 AM---

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

i felt stupid today. i felt dumb. pathetic is the perfect word. blow up just because of a small matter. i didnt want to. but all the problems around me is making a mess of me. im busy this week and next week. practices, rehearsals for open house. i've decided to back out from school's dance musical. i cant cope with all the troubles im facing. danceworks too. im perfect to be called thrash today. i feel stupid. really stupid.

went out with nizam and baby today.. met them at far east's KFC after skool. went to far east by train. after eating at KFC, went to PS.. at PS, went around looking for skinny ties and drum sticks. after that went to accompany nizam to suntec city to meet his friend. while on the way to meet his friend, baby's best friend who talked behind my back and called me thrash names and even ditched the love of my life to leave me, called. and i was starting to really get pissed off. and it ruined the whole day. i feel so dumb. so stupid. STUPID!! sigh..

my migraine is staying for 3 days now. bad headaches, sudden breathing difficulties sometimes. sigh... i just hate myself sometimes. really.

---wrecked @ 1/17/2007 11:20:00 PM---

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

15/1/2007 was our 16 months anniversary. we went cool. but at midnight of 16/1/2007 my head went haywire. i was having too much problems in my mind that i cant think. i cant help being impatient and worrying too much. problems surfacing in my head. its like the pain of a mild heart attack in the head. now migraine strikes again, sometimes i just cant breathe properly. and most of the time i just see myself as a failure. every time i see u cry or hurt u i'll think that i'm a failure. i know that i'm just horrible. just terrible. horrendous. pathetic. but no matter what, i'll love u still. i've made my promise and i'll fulfil my wish. but if i dont, i'll never forgive myself cos i broke my promise, no matter whether u or me ask for it.

all i need is just you. i just cant think anymore.i just cant bear to see my parents fighting again. it makes me want to kill myself alive. nobody understands how painful its like to be stranded in a family where nobody cares much. if you're not around, i'll be all alone, stranded. with nobody to care for. no matter how angry, how hurt i am, i'll always and still love u. let me suffer what u suffer. i just wanna die in your arms. my heart beats for only you. it does. my heart beats for only you. <3;...

---wrecked @ 1/16/2007 12:47:00 PM---


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